As I write this we are one day away from the 2018 Men’s football World Cup! I don’t know about you but I am very excited.
As an avid football fan, I have loved major tournaments for as long as I can remember. The anticipation after the teams have qualified, the expectation after the squads have been announced and the ups and downs of following my team as the tournament unfolds.
Being English it does usually end in heartbreak, traditionally after a penalty shootout against the Germans or the Italians. Nevertheless I love it.
Like many millions around the world I will be glued to the screen for the next month watching as many games as I can. I’ll be meeting up with mates to watch the England matches and undoubtedly end up talking to them about that goal, that refereeing decision and generally contributing to our own post-match analysis.
Without this sounding like a stereotype, myself and a lot of my male friends can talk about football for hours. I don’t even need it to be a world cup for me to talk to them about different managers, transfers and all kinds of others aspects of the beautiful game. However when it comes to more serious matters like how we’re really doing in life the conversation doesn’t flow quite so freely.
I am quite often very genuinely ‘good thanks’ but on those days when that isn’t the case I know that a close friend might be able to help…
When asked, ‘how are you?’ by a close friend I know that quite often I’ll respond with ‘good thanks’ regardless of how I have actually been feeling. I am quite often very genuinely ‘good thanks’ but on those days when that isn’t the case I know that a close friend might be able to help and not opening up and moving the conversation on to football or something else more trivial doesn’t really help anyone.
I’m aware this isn’t an issue just for men but I do know that my wife, my mum and other women in my life are often better at sharing how they are really feeling and helping each other through the hard times.
Sadly statistics in the UK do suggest that there is a gulf in how men and women cope when times get tough.
According to the Office of National Statistics a staggering 76% of all suicides are committed by men. There will be multiple factors as to why that figure exists but I wouldn’t be surprised if part of it has to do with men not talking honestly about how they’re feeling.
I wonder whether some of this has to do with the phrase ‘man up’.
Unfortunately, in my experience at least, to be a man often means to be strong and unwavering both physically and emotionally. Figures released around mental health week in 2017 suggested that only 1 in 5 men would seek help for anxiety or depression.
This may fool those around us but it doesn’t fool ourselves
It seems that men are prone to putting on a brave face and playing pretend. This may fool those around us but it doesn’t fool ourselves and nor does it fool the one who knows us best.
There is a famous quote in the Bible which says; ‘People look at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.’ God knows what is really going on inside all of us. There is no use hiding from Him. Not only does He see us as we truly are but He cares about us more than we’ll ever know and wants us to flourish in life.
The first step in that journey, whether you are a man or a woman, is being honest.
If, like me, you are hooked on world cup fever then enjoy it! Make the most of every moment and every match. Then when it comes to the post-match pint, if you know deep down that everything is not ok then please don’t simply ‘man up’ instead open up to those around you who care.
